Many women — about one out of three — have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. This is even more common for younger women who are just beginning to explore sexual relationships. Getting to know your own body, identifying preferences and overcoming roadblocks will make sex more pleasurable and can help you discover what brings you to orgasm.
“Spectatoring” your physical being: for e.g. worrying that your butt’s jiggling too much or your breasts are drooping. Guys don’t look at women that critically, mainly because they’re too busy thinking, “She’s having sex with me!” Once you get that he’s not noticing any perceived imperfections. If you think your boobs are saggy, wear a hot bra during sex. If you’re worried your stomach looks flabby, put on a cute night wear. But sell it! Really deliver it in a sexy way.
Treating "IT" as another ritual: Sex is for reproduction, not recreation- that's what most of us have been brought up to believe. There is no doubt sex plays an important role in reproduction, but then that not all where it should end. Orgasm is about being able to relax and submit to the pleasure. A celebration of womanhood.
Too many Distractions: Women are multi-taskers, hats off to them. This shouldn't creep into your sex life. During sex, if you’re thinking about folding the laundry, pending work at office, etc it’s going to be difficult to get swept up into the moment and reach climax.
Overridden by guilt or shame: Women who feel guilt related to sex or particular sexual activities generally believe that sex (or a specific sex act) is immoral, sinful or unclean. Social hindrances on the free and open expression of basic desires contribute to the formation of three distinct aspects of the human personality. Remember, sexual activities in themselves are morally neutral. They derive their meaning, and therefore their ethical value, from how they function within a person’s overall wholeness (Id-Ego-Superego) as a loving individual. Women who feel good about themselves, however, and who embrace their sexuality in a healthy way are in a better position to experience heightened sexual pleasure (over and over and over).
Not letting Go: Most woman think of sex as a goal-oriented event, with orgasm as the chief and sole end, leaving a lesser scope for fun and enjoyment. Go on a Bon voyage to discover true pleasure lying hidden in your physical self.
Vaginal discomfort and soreness: Levels of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone present in your body influence state of vaginal health. Fluctuating estrogen levels prevent increased blood flow from traveling to your pelvis. The result is the thinning of your vaginal walls, and less lubrication during sex. Intercourse can range from uncomfortable to extremely painful, and can even cause spotting or light bleeding. Many women simply cannot feel the desire for sex because of painful intercourse. Progesterone keeps your libido up. Testosterone, a male sex hormone, boosts sexual desire and lubricates your vagina. When these hormones vary, so does your overall desire for sexual intercourse.
Stressed and burnt out: It seems likely that stress must impact negatively on the female sexual experience. In a recent survey of 1000 adults, stress was ranked as the number one detractor from sexual enjoyment (26%) above other potential detractors such as children, work and boredom. There seems to be a connection between stress, testosterone levels and female sexual function. Click here, for more Impact of Stress, Relationship Health and Depression on Overall Sexual Function.
Missing out on the mood: Unlike men, it is impossible for women to reach orgasm if they are not in the right mood. Considering that women have a lot of mood swings, they need to grasp the mood before doing sexual intercourse. A body massage, candle-lit room, a good foreplay can set the right mood for orgasm.
Varied Health Issues: There are many underlying health condition or medication you’re taking that might interfere with your good time. For instance, the clogged arteries that come with heart disease can restrict blood flow to the tiny blood vessels in your genitals; diabetes can blunt nerve endings. Hormone-based contraceptives, which lower testosterone, can also dull sexual sensation while antihistamines often dry up your natural vaginal lubricants, making sex uncomfortable. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor antidepressants (SSRIs) and meds for anxiety and hypertension are also notorious for depressing the libido so you’re not even interested in sex, let alone orgasm.
Not being Familiar with your Body: You’ve got to be familiar with yourself to know what turns you on. Sexplore. Discover your body. Touch it. Learn whether a light touch or a hard touch feels best—and where. Incorporate adult toys. Nothing is taboo. Tease yourself. Notice where all the erogenous zones are in your body that you may later guide your lover’s hands or mouth to them.
Consider the above factors which might be making it more difficult for you to have an orgasm. Concern that you won’t have an orgasm, even though you are aroused, might repress your sexual response.
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